To the newly single mom

Congratulations, you are a mom. I am sure this is in no way what you pictured becoming a mom would look like, but hey, its a still a beautiful thing isn't it? I see you sitting there in that hospital bed filled with joy as you look down at that precious new baby, but that smile doesn't fool me. Behind that wide eyed grin there are tears building up, and with each passing moment you are struggling to push them back away. I know this, because I was you.

Those first few days, weeks and months are going to be the hardest. Newborns don't sleep, I mean my kid is 3 and still doesn't sleep. But there are going to be nights when all you want to do is scream. Do it. Scream, cry or curse the world if you need to. It is okay to feel so much fiery. You are doing this all alone but don't let that discourage you. Let that empower you to keep getting up every morning and doing your best. At the end of the day you are not alone, you have that tiny little human being counting on you.

There will be days when your limits are pushed to the max and then a little bit more. Your privacy will become a thing of the past. And that ever so lovely privilege of getting to eat a nice warm breakfast, yeah you can kiss that goodbye right out the door. Your food will become theirs, along with your bed, closet and wallet. Your heart will break more times then you cant count but don't let those puppy dog eyes fool you, they learn right away how to work you.

The guilt is real. Every single day you will go up to bat against it. Sometimes you will hit it out of the park while others you will walk away still swinging. Don't let it defeat you. You are enough. You are so much more then enough and all that you can give, is more then they will ever need. Your baby will love you regardless of anything.

Some days will be sadder then others. Certain things will bring back painful memories or make you long for that "picture perfect" family. Those feelings are okay. Cry in the shower for as long as you need to (or as long as baby allows). But don't ever feel sorry for yourself. The minute you become the victim, all hope is lost. Pick herself back up no matter how many times you fall, and trust me no matter how strong you are, you will.

The sense of loneliness will be there. Days of silence will come and I promise you they will pass. Not having another adult around to vent to is hard. Not having someone to share every little thing with will hurt. But as hard as it may seem to believe, each one of those things will build you up to be stronger then you ever dreamed.

Being a single mom is emotionally, mentally and physically exhausting. More times then not you will question how the hell you are going to do it, but trust me you will. You will find a way because your never ending love for your child will keep pushing you through. Be brave. Be strong. Love that baby. Love him or her more then you have ever loved anything, even yourself. But most of all, cherish each and every moment. In the blink of an eye they wont be so little anymore. Don't spend your time worrying or stressing over the little things. You were made for this, don't ever even for a moment doubt yourself. Go out there new mommy and show this world what they are working with. Kick a** you warrior!

~The days are long but the years are short.~