To the girl who made me a mother

When I was little I used to dream about becoming a mother. Coming from such a big family I grew up watching my older siblings become parents and couldn't wait till it was my turn. There was something so beautiful about the miracle of life and all the love that encompassed that little bundle of joy. Little did I know motherhood would call me sooner then expected.

I was 3 weeks away from my 20th birthday when that one word popped up and forever changed my life, PREGNANT. It stared me dead in the eye with no sign of letting up. All I could think was there was no way this could be right, it just couldn't be. This wasn't my plan. Life was just beginning for me, I had a whole future ahead of me. A future that included a new job, starting college and a new car. Nowhere in that plan did it say baby. But like they say, life happens when you are busy planning it.

I was shocked, scared and worried about the unknown. How was I going to be responsible for another life when I was still trying to figure mine out? If there was one thing I knew for certain from the start it was that no matter what I was going to love this baby unconditionally.

I spent 9 months making it my mission to fill your sweet little heart and head with as much love as I possibly could. My doctor would always say I have a happy baby on my hands when we would listen to your sweet heartbeat. Those simple words always reassured me each time that I was doing something right.

You would think 9 months is a long time to prepare for a baby right? Wrong. I blinked and it was time for you to make your earth side appearance. The morning of your birth I was filled with nerves, I didn’t sleep a wink that night (And haven’t since 3 years later). I was giddy with excitement at the thought of seeing you for the first time. I put my faith in God to guide us through this unknown territory and bring you into this world safely. Four short (and very painful) hours later you were in my arms.

The minute they placed you in my arms you forever imprinted my heart. How could something so tiny (and I literally mean tiny 5pds 5oz) make your heart feel like it could burst at any second. All I could fathom out in between tears was “mommy’s here“. Mommys here, holy crap I’m a mom. All those fears, worries and self doubt washed away when I looked at your face. Truth is I needed you just as badly as you needed me.

So to the girl who made me a mother, thank you for making my heart whole. You opened up my eyes to a whole new world. One where I now know the true meaning of love. A world that is a million times better then I ever could of imagined. God knew my heart needed you.

I may not always get it right but I promise you I am trying. You are my world, my every reason and every wish upon a star come true. Thank you for healing my heart and opening me up to the most wonderful future possible. I love you Addison Charline, more then you will ever known. Thank you for making me a mom.

•The moment a child is born, so is a mother•