To my daughter's future stepmom.

I never thought when picturing my future family it would include stepparents, yet alone a stepmom. The thought of another women having part in raising my daughter is enough to strike me to the core. It is a blow to my heart and at times is more then I can bear. However, this heartache is my reality and something as a single mom I am having to accept. So to the future stepmom of my daughter, please take care of her.

Before my daughter was even born I promised her every day and night that I would always be there for her. I'd be there to dry all her tears, kiss her boo boo's, scare away the monsters and above all, love and protect her always. But for those single moms like myself who co parent you know that promise is all too often broken. The truth is no matter how bad it may sting we cannot always be there, simply just when its our "allocated" time. And I thought that was going to be the hardest part of this all, cue the stepparent aspect.

I can still to this day remember the first time my daughter met her dad's girlfriend. My daughter was four days old and I stood there and watched him hand her over to her, not even having met this women prior and there she was holding my brand new baby. For anyone who has had a child you know how hormonal you are immediately following birth, now throw the above into the mix and I bet you can guess how I felt. I did everything I could not to break down into tears and rage. I guess I can thank the pounding headache, horrific post partum bleeding, engorged boobs and post partum depression for helping me stay a little bit sane in that moment. It has been three and a half years since that first meeting and I can still feel the same amount of pain I felt on that day when I think about it. To my daughters future stepmom, please understand that day and everyday since watching you with her has been nothing short of painful for me. I promise you I don't "hate" you (unless you give me a reason to), I just struggle with the thought of you.

At first she was just around here and there, then regularly, and now my daughter stays at her house when its her dads time. My daughter talks about her to me when she returns back home. I won't lie and say it doesn't still sting when she mentions her or what they did together. But like with everything in this single parent process, time heals. And I hope one day time will heal the relationship between her and I.

So with that, to the future stepmom of my daughter, I wish you the best. I hope you soak up every moment you get to spend with my sweet little girl, never taking for granted even one second of it. I hope you take lots of pictures. Make her smile and laugh often, hug away her tears and never stop reminding her just how beautiful and special she is. Treat her and love her like your own but please don't ever take credit for her, or have her call you mom. Those are boundaries I hope never get crossed and you will respect. Take into consideration often my feelings and where I am coming from, as I will of yours. Never let her lose sight of how much I love her. Above all help her father and I raise her to be a strong, brave, smart, kind and beautiful (inside and out) soul. And promise me if/when more kids come along for you two, you will not forget about her or treat her any differently.

To the future stepmom of my daughter, thank you. Thank you for taking Addie in and accepting her for who she is. For being there to tuck her in at bedtime, showing up to her performances (no matter how awkward they may of been) and surrounding her with a loving environment when she is with you. I have come to terms with this new "normal" image of a family for my daughter. I have accepted another women caring for my daughter when I cannot. And while we may not always see eye to eye, I hope we can always come together and do what is best for Addie's sake. To the future stepmom of my daughter, welcome to the family.

~Our family is defined by love, not blood❤️~