The real side of parenting

Today I woke up, ran 5 miles, did my hair and makeup and best of all didn't manage to lose my shit once. I don't know who did that but whoever did, congratulations. There are not enough Instagram filters, alcoholic beverages and naps in the world for my life to ever be together that well. Period. And while some may try to hide their imperfect moments of parenting, I chose to blog about them. It's about time someone shows the real side of parenting.

Lets be honest we all if not most of us went into this quarantine with the highest hopes of being that pinterest perfect mom. The one who bakes cookies from scratch all while perfectly braiding her daughters hair and managing e-learning like a boss. I have so far managed to do one of those things, well actually half of one, I made cookies but by the time they were done I had managed to eat almost half of the cookie dough already, oops. I can't help that my best friend in this isolation is the refrigerator. At least someone calls me 24/7 a day and cares about fulfilling my needs, and apparently the way my jeans fit too.

I am pretty sure whoever ate all my quarantine snacks also ate that pinterest perfect mom too, for some reason she has disappeared. Her replacement smells like she hasn't showered in who knows how long and can't braid hair for shit. No really, my daughter literally told me as I was pinning her down to braid her hair for Disney day that I can't braid. An hour later, a face full of snot and her hair looked great if you ask me. But believe me when I say it will be a while before that shit show takes place again. Her perfect princess smile may of said look at me but 5 seconds before the camera clicked she was on the ground complaining about every and any little thing. And trust me when I say I woke up the neighborhood that morning with my soulful and perfectly on key screaming. Two days later and I have yet to resurface. Sorry not sorry.

Later that same day I had this wonderful idea to have my daughter help me run my classroom zoom. She's a preschooler, they are all preschoolers, what could possibly go wrong? A lot, that's what. Before I knew it my perfectly sorted piles were all over the floor in front of me, hello anxiety my old friend. I probably showed the same shape or color more then two times and my daughter hijacked story time. You know that look moms give their kids when they are trying to hold it together yet want to strike fear into them at the same time, yeah that one, I gave that more times then I can count. If you ever want to truly challenge yourself, hold a classroom zoom with your kid because you will have to smile and be polite no matter how bad your child is behaving. But don't worry the end of the zoom went much better, I got multiple pieces of Easter candy showed into my face asking for the millionth time if she can have said candy at 10:30am. It's fine, everything's fine I said as I opened the bottle of wine at 11am , which just so happens to pair well with those little Easter bunnies that have been forcefully shoved in your face. And that my friends, is keeping it real.

I wish I could say since that day it has gotten better but no, it has been a slippery slope down hill. My daughter tried and thankfully failed multiple times to unzip my top during my zoom meeting the other day. I mean I would love to be famous don't get me wrong but not for those reasons. If the sky is blue tomorrow she will probably fight me on it for a decent amount of the day, and have a new list of demands to attempt to pull over on me as soon as the morning sun rises through her windows. Lucky me.

In a last attempt to save my sanity yesterday we played a new game, one in which my daughter scares the baby chick her aunt and uncle gave her for Easter, resulting in it "pooping" out jelly beans. Yup, you read that right. While you all may be teaching your kid valuable life skills, I am teaching my kid how to make a baby chick look like it poops out jelly beans. So very sorry to her teacher for when she returns back to school but this mom had had it. I was mentally exhausted from being tested to my limits (and then some) and if I heard mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom one more time, my first visit when this is all over may be to legally get my identity changed. Seriously. ALL. DAY. LONG. I could be but 2 centimeters away from her and she will still scream my name until my ears bleed. Pretty positive after today that is the only name she knows from 8am-8pm, welcome to the real side of parenting.

Don't get me wrong the pictures of well put together households and five course meals are great, but what is behind those pictures is the real stuff. The tantrums, tears, screaming, empty threats and the entire hullabaloo no one gets to see, that my friends is the real deal of parenting. Once this quarantine is over I hope and pray we chose to no longer hide that side that society and social media are so quickly to shun. Bring on the pictures of mac & cheese with chicken nuggets for dinner for the fifth time this week, your kid in front of the t.v. while you enjoy a glass of wine at 9 am or the vulnerable images that show your exhaustion and defeat. And while we are at it, let us support those parents who are struggling in whatever chapter of life they may be in. We have all been there or will be there at some point so let's choose to embrace the mess and chaos that makes parenting so worth it (most days ha).

Today I woke up, cried 5 times, ate way too many times to count, lost my shit more then enough, stuck my kid in front of the t.v., felt extreme guilt for the way the day played out, lost it in the shower, cuddled my daughter to sleep all while scrolling through social media, fell asleep crying on the floor next to her, and that, that right there is the real deal of parenting.

Welcome to my whole new world, it may not always be beautiful, but I promise you it will always be real.

~Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do.~