The "easy" way out

I've been meaning to blog about this for some time but every time I go to something else pops up and I forget. But today a picture posted in one of my mom groups lit a fire inside of me and sparked me to do a blog. A picture that showed a C-section scar and above it said, "proof that you have failed as a woman..." All too often C-section moms are labeled as failures, taking the easy way out, etc. It's 2019, women have C-sections more often then you think either by choice or emergency, grow the f*** up and deal with it.

When I saw the picture I didn't even know where to begin. I mean come on this person had to be joking right? How could a women that had her stomach cut open to deliver her child be a failure? The way I see it whether you delivered vaginally or by C-section, you are still one hell of a bada** mom. Doing what is safest for not only your child but also yourself does not make you a failure.

Before I had my daughter everyone told me to make a birth plan. You know plan out exactly how you want your labor and delivery to go because it totally will if you do (insert major sarcasm). My doctor however told me not to because if things didn't go as planned, I may feel like a failure. And I get it now. I am grateful I was able to have a 100% natural delivery like I had hoped, but the entire time in the back of my mind I was thinking about what happens if I don't. The world puts too much pressure on moms to deliver one way.

After my daughter was born I was asked numerous times about my birth. Did I get an epidural? Any type of pain meds? Uh who really cares. My body, my birth. Worst of all after telling people I had no type of pain meds, all I heard was shame on the women who do get them. Things like they don't know what labor and delivery is truly like, they took the easy way out etc. I get way back in the old days women delivered and labored differently, but its 2019 and there is no one way to do it correctly. Vaginal, C-section, natural or epidural, we are all mothers who gave birth in the way that worked for us and we all deserve to wear capes for the super women we are.

I'm not quite sure why other women still feel the need to throw shame at each other. Motherhood is not a competition. I will not like you any more or less if your birth story is different then mine. I am not any better then the next mom and there is zero need to step on other moms to make your way to the top. I will however give you a nice kick to the curb if you feel the need to downgrade another women, call her a failure or give her s*** about her delivery. At the end of the day as long as our kids are healthy and happy, who really cares how they made it into this world. Next time a women you know gives birth don't ask her about it unless she offers. No matter what way it may be support her, congratulate her and empower her. New moms have enough to worry about already they don't need anymore of your negativity and opinions.

So to all my C-section mom friends out there, wear your scars proudly. They are not a sign of failure, they are a sign of new life you helped create and bring into this world. They are a symbol of your strength and never ending love for your child(ren). One so strong you were willing to be cut open to bring them into this world safely. And don't even think for a second you owe anyone an explanation. To my mom friends who had epidurals, you did not take the easy way out. A human body can bear up to 45 Del of pain, during labor we experience up to 57. I don't blame you or degrade you for even a second for wanting to take the edge off of that pain. It's 2019, can we please just accept and support each other already?

~Birth is amazing, no matter how it happens.~