That makes me sad

The other night my daughter asked if we could go to chick-fil-a for dinner which brace yourselves, I have never been to. Gasp I know, but anyway the answer was no. She smiled and politely said okay mom, end of conversation. Ha who am I kidding? At least that's what I kept picturing in my head as the screaming carried on and on... and on. Did she throw a massive tantrum, kick, scream and tell me she didn't like me? Yup. Does that make me a mean mommy? Nope. It makes me her mom, not her best friend. Don't get me wrong I hope as my daughter gets older she will always feel comfortable coming to me about anything like a friend, but I will however not give in to her every need and desire like one.

My daughter is in no way an angel, nor will I ever pretend that she is. She may act good (most of the time) in public but like I've said, don't let it fool you. The minute no one is around her little horns come popping out, and no not the unicorn horn she so wishes would. But you want to know why more times then not she is good in public or respectful of other adults? Because I tell her no, something parents now a days seem to really struggle with. They are more concerned about their children liking them, then raising decent human beings.

Every week at swim on the way out we pass their little in facility store, where you can find another stuffed animal you don't need or your millionth pair of swim goggles that will be lost within a week. My daughter is always asking to stop and look so one week I told her we could. But you want know what happened? After swim she threw the tantrum of all tantrums (here's why I say she's good most of the time) because well, she was cold and didn't want me to take her wet suit off. Really kid? You would think by now she would understand by taking it off she will get warmer, but no. Anyway, she right there in the changing room started screaming bloody murder and then procced to hit me. My mom likes to call that one pay back from all the times I hit her when I was little (thanks karma). So of course I yelled at her all flustered, picked her up and marched our way out into the car. Cue the passing of the store and adding more fuel to her fire. As I wrestled her into the car seat (and got my workout in for the day) she looks at me and says in response to telling her that she lost her store time privilege, "that makes me sad." Tough luck kid.

Right about there is where some parents would of felt the need to give in. The need to satisfy their kids wants for them to like them, but not me. Even though she has perfected the puppy dog eyes, pouty lip and coined some of the most insane phrases, I stand my ground. You see I am all for keeping promises but within limits. I may promise you the world but if you dare hit me, scream or act inappropriately, all bets are off the table. Kids who aren't told no grow up into adults who believe they are privileged. Adults who refuse to wait their turn, accept anything less then the "best" and disrespect the world around them. My daughter is being raised to respect everyone the same, whether they are the president or the school janitor, you treat them the same.

I get it may sting when they say I don't like you or you're mean, but giving in to them teaches them absolutely nothing. Except for you know of course that all they have to do is be horrible to get their way. I can handle the crying, the disappointment, but what I cannot handle is a child who is down right disrespectful. Right from the start my daughter was taught please and thank you, and that if you need something you ask nicely. I have little room for attitude. And while others may frown upon the public tantrums, I refuse to let a three year old control me. So if you see my child screaming at me or telling me that I am being mean, just smile and be on your way. For one day she will see that I was just helping her become the best she can be, a well rounded, respectful human being.

~Be your kids best parent, not their best friend.~