Tell me

Tell me

Tell me it will all be okay

Tell me I am not a bad mom for sticking my kid in front of the screen so I can get a few moments of peace

Tell me it's okay I lost myself today

Tell me I won't be judged for being human and needing to scream or cry sometimes

Tell me when this is all over my daughter will be okay

Tell me my daughter watching me struggle won't leave her broken

Tell me I am not weak for not holding it together always

Tell me I am doing an okay job

Tell the parents of the world it will all be alright

Please, just tell us we are doing enough and not to push ourselves during this quarantine parenting.

The other morning I lost my composure. I try my hardest to always hold it together and not cry in front of my daughter but the other, the other day I just couldn't anymore. As we began discussing school come fall and all the uncertainty with it all, I could feel the lump in my throat get bigger. The words became harder to swallow and my eyes began to water. I quickly walked into our kitchen and turned my face away from the view of my daughter. However she could sense by the shaking tone in my voice that I wasn't okay, she quickly wrapped her arms around me and began trying to dry the tears that by now were rapidly falling down my face. I spent the rest of that day feeling guilty for falling apart in front of my daughter.

This quarantine parenting sucks, and that is putting it lightly. For 50 straight days now we have been confined to our home and watched the outside world shatter all around us. We have read or watched one too many stories regarding the death toll and the worst cases of this all. And when we are done with those we are left to sit in the silence of our own homes. Our minds immediately become consumed with the horrible thoughts of what if and we feel completely helpless protecting our babies right now. On top of it all our children are beginning to struggle with the idea of no more school, friends or normalcy. Being a parent during this quarantine is heartbreaking.

At the start of this all it merely felt like a short break from reality, but now it feels like a nightmare I can't seem to shake. The four walls of my home each passing day seem to get a little bit closer, the anxiety and stress levels rise with each passing hour and my emotions are bursting through the seams. I know right now this is the reality for majority of parents. We are struggling to stay afloat during this quarantine.

In the past week my personal life has taken a major blow. All at once the reality of this all has hit. Not just for me personally but for so many of the people and businesses I am close to. My daughters dance studio is facing closing its doors for good, my grandma has been in isolation in a tiny room for far too long now and is reaching the point of being done and some of the people I love most are hurting this week for various reasons. This quarantine has found each and every one of our most vulnerable traits and thrived on them.

That day I feel apart and quickly tried to pull myself back together, my little girl shared a few sweet and very important words with me. As she held my face close to hers she said, "look at me mommy, its okay to cry. I cry when I am hurting too but you make me feel better, so I will make you feel better now."

We are all trying so hard right now to not fall apart, to not fail as parents, but truth be told the only thing our kids need right now is for all of us to heal together. So if you need to cry, cry. Show your kids it is okay to hurt, it is okay to show emotion in front of others and that it doesn't make you or them weak. Love, support and be there for them, during this quarantine that is more then enough.

I am telling you it will all be okay. Whether you lose it or your house is a mess, at the end of the day you and only you are enough for your kids, all the rest is nonsense. Please stop feeling the need and pressure to fill your kids days with a million activities. Cut yourself some slack if the only things that get done some days is movies and putting a dent in the snacks. I promise you one day they will say those were some of their favorite childhood memories.

To the parents of the world, I am here for you. I see you, I love you and I support you. I know parenthood most days feels like the most isolating and invisible thing but I promise you are not alone, now or ever. And one day when this is all said and done, and I promise it will end, we will all come out of this standing that much taller and that much stronger. Hand in hand we will be the parents who survived a national quarantine.

Tell me you promise going forward you will do whatever it takes to feel okay again.

Tell me you are enough and mean it

Tell me you are an amazing mom or dad

Tell me how much your kids love you

Tell me your favorite part of everyday

Tell me despite what the news or social media may say that there is a reason to be grateful for today.

Tell me when this is all said and done how proud of yourself you are

Tell me, I am here for you.

Whether we talk always, rarely or never, please reach out if you are struggling. I promise you are not alone. Oh and one last thing, tell me again how amazing each and every parent is right now for handling this quarantine however they can.

To the quarantine parents of the world, much love and strength to you all.

~Storms are not meant to destroy you, they are meant to strengthen you.~