Tag...I'm it?

If there is one game my daughter loves to play more than anything, its tag or as she calls it chase. I on the other hand call it an accident waiting to happen. She is a bull in a china shop. There's clutsy and then there is Addie, girl brings a whole new meaning to that word. I don't think I had ever before seen someone trip over their own two feet so many times in a day (sorry you got that from me). Most of all though, I strongly dislike being it. Not because I am a sore loser or competitive by any means (my track record may say otherwise) but because it can be exhausting. I mean don't get me wrong I don't mind running down the ice cream truck or running to the fridge, but running in never ending circles is exhausting (and results in a very dizzy me).

Being a parent has often been compared to a game of tag. You see for instance, in the morning mom is it. She gets the kids up, ready and off to school before heading back home or off to work. Then in the evening mom tags dad and he is it. Now it is his turn to get the kids fed, homework done and ready for bed and vice versa. They take turns being it. They share the duties of parenting and make it a team effort. When one is done or exhausted beyond compare, they tag out. Neither one has to continuously run in a never ending circle. And yes I know some husbands are more involved or helpful then others but point is, there is always a second person there. A teammate or more so a life mate. Us single parents, we don't have that.

You see playing "tag" as a single parent isn't as easy. I get up every morning, get myself and daughter ready for the day and then head to work and school. Some days after school we have swim, dance, doctor appointments, etc. By the time all is said and done, pulling into our driveway I am beat. It's time for me to tag...oh wait, there is no one to tag. I am it. Again.

Here's the thing, single parents do not get a time out, there is no "no tag back", we are always it. Drained? Life sucked out of you (kids are good at this one)? Sick? Hurt? Tough luck, you are it. When Addie was 12 days old I got the worst migraine at night and you know who didn't sleep a wink that night, Addie. Oh and on top of it all, hello cluster feeding. I sat on the basement couch feeding her, crying, sick to my stomach with a throbbing headache for majority of the night. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep but I couldn't, I was it.

My daughter depended on me to be there for her, to keep being there every time that night she "tagged" me and well, every day and night since then. She has relied on me being it for every nightmare, every 1am stomach bug, emotional breakdown, sleepless nights and all the big and little things in between. No matter how hard of a day I have had or how badly I need a break, I am always it.

This never ending one sided game of tag is exhausting. It is filled with some of the most challenging obstacles that are meant to break you. But I promise you, they wont. Even on the hardest days, those days when nothing is going right and you just want to scream or cry (or both), you will make it through. There may be no shiny trophy or finish line prize in sight, but there will be two little arms reaching out to hug you. For even on those days you feel like you have failed, you will still be looked at as the best parent in their eyes. The one who shows up, greets them with open arms, makes them laugh and provides a strong and steady shoulder for them to lean on. And for that reason tag...you're it...again!:) I know the days may seem long but for now embrace each and every one of those moments being it, because one day they won't want to tag you anymore.

~ On the days you feel like giving up, remember who you are doing it for~