Life is full of choices

“Bring them all out here Nana”. My daughter is a slight (okay very big) Diva when it comes to her desserts. You cannot just simply list all the options, you must bring them all out and arrange them systematically on the table. Oh, and don’t even dare think about laying a hand on any one of those desserts before she decides her fate, she’ll put you in your place. This occurrence last night (yesternight as Addie would say) got me thinking, if a 3-year-old so carefully examines all of her options before making a basic life choice, why don’t we do the same when we are presented with more complex ones?

Our life's are like mazes. Each day we must decide whether to go left, right, backwards (don't ever go backwards) or forwards. Every twist and turn has the capability to change the course of our future. Looking back on my past I have made a handful of wrong turns and may of gotten lost way more times along the way then I would like to admit (don't ever ask me for directions).

I swear I do not recall seeing a STOP, proceed with caution or wrong way sign when I took one of the most significant pivots in my life (if the word pivot made you think of Friends, I love you) . I set full speed ahead into a toxic relationship in which I endured mental and emotional abuse. This is right about where a huge sign is supposed to pop up in your face, telling you to turn around and run run run as fast as you can (you cant catch me I'm the gingerbread man...can you tell I'm a mom).

As human beings it is in our nature to get so caught up in the hustle and bustle that we often ignore these signs. We perceive that life goes smooth sailing when we do whatever satisfies other people. All the while we are throwing our own happiness to the curb.

You see my ex grew up in a less then ideal family life. For most of his childhood he was back and forth between foster homes in which he himself was physically and mentally abused. I still remember to this day when he told me all of this and right away at that moment thinking it was going to be my mission to try and "fix" him. Cue the wrong way sign. It is not my job or anyone else's for that matter to try and heal something we did not break. Because while we are choosing to "fix" someone else, we are slowly destroying ourselves.

I sacrificed my happiness, friendships and sanity trying to mend something that I could of never put back together. I spent many months blaming myself for all he put me through. Questioning whether if I would of made a different choice would he of still accused me? Would he still of made me feel like the ground beneath him? I made the choice to continue the relationship for longer then I ever should of, but I also chose to not let him break me. I chose to move on with my life. I chose to not let his words or actions dictate my future. I chose to be happy. And for that I am thankful.

God puts these obstacles in our life to set us on course for something greater then we could imagine in our wildest dreams. The day I came to my senses and found the strength to walk away, the pages in my life story flipped to a new chapter. These blank sheets soon filled with meeting my daughters father and the birth of my sweet Addie girl, whom I cannot imagine life without. Sometimes we must experience pain to appreciate joy.

Always remember that your past choices do not determine your future, rather they guide you back to where you are destined to be. Chose to live. Chose to do what sets your soul on fire. But most importantly, chose what is best for you. You and only yourself are in charge of your decisions. Choose wisely.

~Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you~ John C. Maxwell