It's okay to start over again.

My mom has always had told me since I was a little girl that she wants me to be happy. Whether that meant I followed in my siblings footsteps or danced to my own beat, she just wanted me to do what is right for me. I like to think or at least say I did a bit of both, I played soccer like my older siblings but when it came to life choices, I chose a bit of a different path. You can say I chose the path less traveled or to put it blunt, the beaten path. And while my life choices may of not been for everyone, in the end they have gotten me to where I am today, happy and well, plain old me.

They always say the key to a life well lived is happiness. Easy enough right? Seems pretty simple. What they don't tell you in the fine print though is to get to that point of happiness you will have to endure heartache, pain and sometimes moments that will push you past your limit. There is no clear cut easy path to happiness, because I can promise you if there was, everyone would hop onto that nonstop straight path train the minute they are born. You see to get that golden key, you have to work for it.

We all set out on the same journey to find happiness, to find the things that spark joy within us and make living worth wild. Along the way we get lost. Many times. We think that happiness can be bought with money or found within another person. And while they may bring us happiness, its only temporary. Happiness isn't an object, person, possession or thing, happiness is a feeling. We are born with that feeling already inside of us, but its up to you and only you to awaken that emotion to its full potential.

I was one of those who thought for awhile I could bring that feeling to the surface by entrusting my life in someone else's hands. I handed over my heart so easily thinking others could repair its brokenness. I mean if I didn't have the right pieces, they must, right? Wrong. So it was onto the next person and the next and the next, until finally I think I had felt enough heartache to jolt me. It took being alone to realize I control my own happiness, I have the power to chose my path.

It is okay to start over again, to switch directions on your map. Even when you think you have it all figured out, only for your feelings to change, its okay. Life isn't about settling. It isn't about staying within your 5 mile radius. Life is about breaking down walls, pushing boundaires and taking that leap of faith outside of your comfort zone. It is okay to start over again and again and again. We don't find happiness in getting life right the first try, we find it in the imperfect moments along the way that lead us to exactly where we are meant to be.

Happiness found me at my lowest point, in the deepest darkest corner within me, it's little light sparked. Happiness was the light at the end of the tunnel, it was when I decided to start living my life for me. I am fearfully and wonderfully made and to some I may be weird or my sarcastic personality may be too much for them to handle, but so what? I am who I am and I deserve nothing more then to be happy, as do you. I will continue marching to my own beat whether it may be for others or not.

It is okay to start over again, you never know, you may like this new story better then your last.