Fall in love with yourself

If you have been following my blog, you are aware I have been MIA for bit as I was on a family vacation with my little girl. Every summer we head to the same beach in North Carolina that I have been going to since I was 5. Each year is filled with memories, new friends (and old) made and spending our days on the beach. This past trip however came with a little bit more, I learned to fall in love with myself again.

This past year has been one of the most challenging for myself personally. I have struggled with the worst acne, numerous skin sensitives/allergies and some other personal matters. I have spent more time in doctors offices then I would ever like and I have bought enough cover up to support covergirl for well, lets just say a decent amount of time. I have hid behind clothing, makeup and the four walls of my room, wasting hours away trying to hide every and any little imperfection. There have been times I haven't been fully present at important life events because I am too busy inside my head panicking and being anxious about what others see.

In the months leading up to this annual trip, I work out vigorously. I start doing all the stomach and butt workouts I can find on Pinterest because let's face it, your body is nothing like it used to be before having a baby. I try to get myself into the best shape and even then, I still struggle with how I look. I make sure to eat as healthy as possible on vacation and not give into my dessert temptations.

But guess what? This year, well this year I said to heck with all of that. I did not a single stomach or butt workout. I ate what I wanted on vacation, including the infamous and delicious Duck donuts (careful they can be addicting, just ask Addie). And last but not least, I wore no makeup the entire trip. No matter if my skin was having a good day or not, I went down to the beach or to town with nothing on. I put myself on full display just the way I am and let just me say, I love who I am.

I have never been so at peace with myself. Each morning I wake up and accept what I look like in the mirror. I don't stand in front of it and criticize and overthink things. This past week I went to work wearing the very least amount of makeup possible and that was so gratifying. I have learned to fall in love myself all over again.

Ten days. That is all it took. Ten days of no makeup, personal restrictions and most importantly, no social media making me feel like I had to be a certain way. I no longer feel the need to sacrifice my happiness or settle for anything less then what I deserve in life. If you cannot love me at my "worst" then you sure as hell do not deserve me at my best.

My body has undergone the biggest changes these past three and a half years. From pregnancy, to post partum, nursing and everything in between, it has gone through the ringer. It is no wonder mothers struggle with self image. Nobody is perfect though, and that's the beautiful thing. People often say they were their most happiest at their lowest weight, but after this trip looking back on pictures from the past three years, I noticied something. Yes to others I may of looked the greatest that first summer when Addie was 4 months old, but I wasnt. I struggled that summer with post partum depression, weighed 99 pounds and had the worst self image ever. Three years later and a few pounds heavier, I am more in love with myself then I have ever been.

Your happiness isn't defined by what the scale says, what your face looks like or how you look in a swim suit. It is defined by the love you have for yourself within. Once you learn to love yourself, you will only attract positives.

~Body confidence doesn't come from trying to achieve the perfect body, it comes from embracing the one you've already got~