Expectation vs Reality

Ever see those picture perfect images plastered across social media displaying the most beautiful family? You know the ones where the kids are smiling so nicely and the parents are just gazing into each others eyes? The picture that millennial's are so quick to tag as "squad goals" or "relationship goals", yeah that one. Not only does it raise the bar for every one else's family pictures (thanks a lot), but its also not at all realistic. Sure we all have great intentions going into pictures with our adorable kids but lets be honest, the minute they see that camera go up, their teeny tiny horns come a popping through.

I don't know what is more work, running a marathon or trying to wrangle all your kids back to their spots for pictures. I am going to go with the second option because lets be real, I don't run. And if you ever did see me running, you best be running yourself because that means I am running from something. But seriously, you will be a literal puddle of sweat by the time you get done with pictures. Don't bother doing your hair or makeup because you may go into it looking like the cover of a magazine but honey you will come out looking like Cruella de Vil. And yes, that includes your attitude.

I have (at least I like to think) a lot of patience. I can sit through a 3 year olds knock knock joke, and if you haven't heard one before, they are like the song that never ends. Seriously. There is rhyme or reason to their jokes (besides getting to say poop or butt a millions times). But put me in front of the camera with my daughter and you will see me lose my s*** faster then my daughter can finish her dessert.

Every time I go into these photo shoots, more like s*** storms , I go into them with the upmost patience and highest expectations. I give myself a great little pep talk (or talk to the voices in my head, you decide), and ask my daughter ever so sweetly to give me a nice smile. And just like that, she does. HAH! Who am I kidding? This ain't no fairytale. No instead I get the tongue sticking out, her infamous Addie-tude look or best of all thee most forced smile in the world. Cue the crazy mom coming out. By this point I am sick of asking a million and one times for her to smile. And trust me, she knows it. She love love LOVES to push every single button of mine and see the smoke spewing out of my ears.

Now those picture perfect images I had in my mind when we started are gone. Instead I have 9 of the 10 photos taken of us where I am either fighting with her, forcing a "don't lose your s*** now smile" or wrangling her back to her spot (which is literally like wrestling with a alligator). You want to know how I end up getting that one good photo? I'll let you in on a little very well known secret. Bribery. That's how. And don't even think about rolling your eyes at me all you perfect moms. Bribery is a life saver. More so a sanity saver. Only problem is as my kid gets older, the bribery has to get bigger. She will no longer settle for a single M&M. Oh no, she needs at least 2 jelly beans (her choice of color of course). Give her those jelly beans and BAM, you have a nice smile. Of course along with that comes red puffy eyes from crying, a shirt (make that two shirts) full of snot and a mom whos hair looks like a rats nest. But, you have a smile and some good memories that hopefully you can laugh about some day.

My picture captions may read "This girl is my entire world" or "How did I get so lucky", but trust me behind those captions and one good photo, there is a whole camera roll full of chaos. And maybe ,okay yes, my sanity too. Next time you see those picture perfect images, remind yourself those are not reality and its okay to let those expectations go right out the door (just don't let your mind go with them).

~Some call it chaos, I call it family~