Don’t ask

When is she going to get a sibling? Are you pregnant? When are you going to start a family? All of the above are believed to be harmless inquiries but in reality as innocent as those questions are meant to be, they can instantly cause someone a great deal of pain.

This past weekend I had the privilege of walking with some of the strongest people to honor premature, stillborn and miscarried babies, all while raising funds to better the future of mothers and babies around the world. Our walk was filled with signs telling stories of love and loss, and everywhere you looked you couldn't help but notice shirts honoring said babies. With each shirt and sign read I hugged my daughter that much tighter and thanked the good Lord above for this blessing.

For myself the journey to motherhood was unexpected and for the most part a uncomplicated one. Granted the little stinker gave me lots of trouble the last few months (still does to this day), getting pregnant was easy. Unfortunately that doesn't always ring true for others. 1 in 8 couples will experience infertility at some point. 15-20% of women will experience at least one miscarriage. And every 1 in 100 pregnancies each year will result in a stillbirth. Let those numbers sink in for a moment. Now put those into perspective, at some point in your life either yourself or someone you know will experience one or more of the above.

I've been there as my own family members and closest friends have endured this unimaginable pain. Some losing more then one baby. Some losing their baby at 7 weeks while another lost theirs at 39 weeks. Yes, right before their due date. And let us not forget the mothers who endure multiple rounds of failed IVF treatments. The ones who hope and pray every month that this will be the one. And last but of course not least, the women who have every hope and dream of being a mother but ultimately cannot have children of their own.

You cannot tell any of this by simply looking at a women. She may smile as you ask, all the while she just received news at the doctors moments before that her baby has no heartbeat. Everyone has a story, a struggle that you know nothing about. We are all fighting our own battles behind closed doors every day. So I beg you next time you see a newly married couple, a family with only one child, someone with no kids, etc that you please refrain from asking any questions about babies. Pregnancy is a very sensitive and private matter. And to those who have had kids with no trouble please do not take that for granted. For every complaint you have, another women is wishing for.