Diary of a working mom

I am going to prelude this blog with saying that no one way is better or easier and that this whole motherhood thing is in no way a competition. Just because it may work for you doesn't mean it will for everyone. Now that I got that out of the way, where were we? Oh yes, the blog, silly me. This past Christmas Eve I attended a 10pm service where the Pastor's sermon resonated with me on a whole different level. While talking about the reason for the season (praise Jesus), the Pastor went into detail about the obstacles and sometimes different directions our lives take then we plan. If you aren't new to my blog then you know entirely how my life has gone no where near to plan. Cue the latest blog, diary of a working mom.

We all know how difficult being a mom is, there is physical exhaustion, emotional breakdowns and everything in between. To put it blunt, parenthood is a s*** show and you are the ring leader. As ring leader, you are expected to make meals, do laundry, clean the house and keep the tiny humans alive (which some days isn't so easy). And oh, manage a job while you are at it. Easy right? Maybe if you were an octopus with 8 arms and legs it would be.

Kids were always apart of my plan, being a working mom, not so much. I watched my mom, friends and family have kids and be stay at home moms and I couldn't wait for that. My time to become a mom came sooner then I expected and well, life steered me far off the stay at home mom track. When your picture perfect, well thought out (or so at least you thought) plan goes haywire, adjusting to your new normal is hard.

The decision to work is met with scrutiny and judgment. The whispers of other people become screams and you find yourself deemed a horrible mom for choosing to let someone else raise your child, in essence for choosing your career over your child. But don't worry, being the working mom is the easy choice. After all, everyday you go to work it's a vacation for you, an escape from home life. I don't know what your vacation looks like, but if teaching 16 two/three year old's is what you picture, then do not ever sign me up to go on vacation with you. And to those who will try to make you feel like crap for leaving your child to go take care of other peoples kids, f*** their opinions. Being a working mom is no walk in the park and by no means a luxury.

For some, the decision to work is easy, it's one they make all on their own and guess what? That's okay. It is OKAY for a women to want to work and not stay home. She is not choosing her career over her child, she is choosing to continue to provide for her family and then come home and start her next full time job, being a mom. It is OKAY for women to not want to spend every living and breathing second with their children, it does not mean they love them any less or that you are any better of a mom then them.

Being a working mom was not a choice I got to make. It is the choice life made for me and has been one I struggle with daily. Having to choose sometimes to stay home with your sick kid or go to work to pay the never ending bills, is not one anyone should ever have to make, but we do. Watching other moms take their kids to the zoo on beautiful days or go to every one of their children's events stings. This past Halloween my daughter had a parade and party at her preschool in which she had 6 family members attend. Talk about a very loved little girl am I right? However, I could not due to my own classroom needing me that day too. After it all was said and done I was talking to her about it and how wonderful it was that so many people showed up, and you know what she told me? She looked at me and said but you weren't there mom, I was looking for you. Being a working mom is the easy choice isn't it?

Everyone talks about the "glamorous" parts of being a working mom. The social life you get to have, the looking like a full functioning adult daily thing, you know the good stuff. But what about that crying kid wrapped around my leg begging me to stay home today. Or the 5am daily wakeup call in hopes you can quickly scramble yourself together and get everything you need done before your kid wakes up. And let us not forget the late nighters or having to choose between getting the over flowing laundry done or soaking up a few extra minutes with your babies before bedtime. How is getting up at 5am, prying a crying kid off your leg for the 10th time this week and coming home with every intention of being the best mom possible, only to fail because work has exhausted every ounce of patience you had, glamorous? Next time you want to say we have the easy choice, take a page from the diary of a working mom.

Daily I face those battles above. Daily I find myself having to make choices I never want to. Being a working mom is one of the hardest things you will ever do. The guilt you feel, the amount of tears you hold back and the moments you miss out on are in no way a vacation. Everyone talks about the stay at home mom depression, silence and struggles, and let me just say, us working moms feel it too. Can we please stop making women feel any worse then they already do about the card life has dealt them with. Next time you hear a mom is going back to work, instead of greeting her with pity and judgment, great her with a hug and maybe a box of Kleenex or two. She needs your support more then anything.

Stay at home mom, working mom or both, we are all just trying to keep the tiny human's alive and not lose our s*** while we are at it. Let us all embrace the different path's we are on and support the next generation while we are at it. From the diary of a working mom, can we please erase the absurd amount of pressure and stigma around women staying home?